Meant to Be
by obi's girl
Summary: In the first part, Obi-Wan reflects on his life, the failure, the pain and the loss of woman he loved...what could have been between them. In the second part, Sabé reflects on the heartbreak, the break-up, her reunion with Obi-Wan and then marrying anoth
1. Chapter 1

Meant to Be   
by obi's girl 

Summary: Obi-Wan reflects on his life, the failure, the pain and the loss of woman he loved...what could have been between them. Sabewan fanfic.   
Rating: PG   
A/N: Yet another Sabewan fanfic to add to my list of only 3 fanfics.   
Dedication: This was inspired by SobiFan and your lovely new layout for SO? Feel free to copy this and archive this there.   
Disclaimer: I am no George Lucas, nor am I man. But I am a hopeless Sabewan shipper, playing around with that other part of the SW universe. 

The end. I never thought there would be an end to my life. There was never any real closure to my life as a Jedi Master. I served the Jedi and the Republic for more than thirty-five years, I'd always believed I would continue to serve them until my death, whenever that would be. I haven't even died but yet, I have in a sense. I am no longer the man I was when all of this started. 

I was so young and naive to the happening's around me. I was really stuck up to, thinking I was better than everyone else. Vanity, the belief that you're better than anyone, is the curse of the Jedi. Vanity is what killed my Padawan and made him an agent of evil, I failed him, I'd failed Qui-Gon but most of all, I'd failed Padmé. I felt sorry for her for all that she had lost but yet, I couldn't stop thinking about what I had lost myself. Or what I told myself I could never have anyway. 

I had a chance at happiness too like my Padawan, but instead, I decided to look the other way because I thought it would have been selfish of me to go against the Order and love her. She was so heartbroken when I chose the Order over her, after all we'd shared together, I'd forsaken her. 

Sabé Maberrie. 

She couldn't understand why I'd leave her after many years of love between us. Every memory shared, the little moments we had together, didn't seem to matter to me, she said. They did matter to me, I'd held them close to my heart. The only problem was that I feared for what would happen to us or even worse, her, one day if she'd ever leave me or die possibly. There were so many reasons why I let her but now that I've lost everything, I want nothing more than to take back all that I said to her. 

I thought my decision was for the common good. I thought I was doing us a favor by stopping things before I felt that all too familiar pain of heart break. Despite my words and the harsh words she said to me, the pain I thought would be less, I felt stab my heart ten times over. 

I betrayed her. For the next couple weeks in the Temple, I delved deeply into my work. Sparring matches, deep meditation, anything to keep my mind off the woman I let go; or rather the woman I turned my back on. I thought about calling her a couple times to tell her I was sorry and didn't mean what I said to her, but I never did. 

Many times over the years, I'd dreamt about our life together, past and future. The past was hard to think about but the future held different outcomes for us. Some of those outcomes were better than some. I started doubting myself more. Was I wrong to leave her? The Code forbids emotional attachments but ours was already very deep, I didn't know how to ignore it. 

Sometimes, at night, I'd have visions of her. Deep brown eyes, soft blonde hair, flowing around her white sun dress, overlooking the sunset on Naboo. The more I'd look, the more I realized the dress wasn't just a sun dress but her wedding dress. The wedding dress she'd never wear because of my stupid decision. 

It was a stupid decision. 

One strange day, I decided to look her up. I wasn't shocked to find she had a thriving career of her own, Foreign Ambassador, a job behind the desk. Padmé helped her get the position, I knew, or maybe she did it on her own. She was a very independent person. I remember scrolling down the holo screen and finding she had an address on Coruscant. 

Despite my own selfish objections not to see her, I copied the file to a holopad and went out to look for her. I wasn't expecting to be called on a mission with Anakin anytime soon since we were guaranteed rest leave by the Council. I followed the address and the Force until it led me to an apartment building not far from the Temple. 

At the door, I started to have second thoughts about what I was about to do. What was I doing there? What was my purpose in being there? Would I just see where she was or take the leap and actually talk to her? It was a confusing decision. Finally, I shrugged and entered the apartment lobby. 

"Excuse me," I said, interrupting the lady at the check-in, "I'm looking for Sabé Maberrie's room?" 

The Twi'lek smiled, "No one is allowed to see the Ambassador unless they have pressing business with her. She's a very busy woman," 

"I have pressing business. I just want to talk with her; I'm an old friend of hers," 

She shrugged and then turned, pressing an button, connection to her room, "Sorry to disturb you, m'lady, but there's a man here to see you and it looks like he's a Jedi," 

I immediately regretted not changing into formal wear before leaving the apartment. Once she heard I was a Jedi, I knew she'd make the connection it was me who wanted to see her, and she wouldn't want to see me. 

"Hmmm, aha, aha. All right," the Twi'lek said and then clicked off the connection, "She's room 12B, west wing," 

My draw dropped suddenly and then I closed my mouth, thanking the woman and went to the nearest elevator. As I waited there, still in shock, she actually wanted to see me, I let my eyes wander the lobby. My eyes wandered some more until a young woman with blonde hair and brown eyes, dressed in a light blue dress entered the lobby. She talked to the woman at the desk first and then turned to me. 

I smiled despite myself, staring into her brown eyes. She hadn't changed that much in the years we had been apart, it didn't really surprise me. She smiled calmly, though I knew she had doubts about seeing me. I felt the same way about her. 

"I don't know how to say hello to you, Ben," she whispered and gestured we sit in the waiting area, "But you're here." 

"Sabé, first of all, I just wanted to tell you sorry about, what was said between us all those years ago..." 

She nodded, "It doesn't change anything between us, Ben. I know now your life is with the Order and my life is politics. That's just the way it is and it'll never change, and I doubt I'd fit into your life. I don't even know if I could," she rambled and paused, "I just wanted to say that before I forgot to," 

I smiled wryly, "I did come here hoping enough time had passed, we could start over or pick off where we left off," 

"I've had those same dreams too Ben, but we can't ever go back to the way things used to be," Sabé said, "I'm sorry for wasting your time Ben, but I have an appointment that I need to attend," I frowned as she stood up and smiled at me, "But it was good to see you, though. I'd been meaning to make the trip myself to the Temple but with my schedule, it isn't easy." 

I smiled goodbye to her, drooping my shoulders slightly as I watched her leave the hotel and step into an taxi. The last time, I walked out of her life without a second glance but that time, she walked out of mine and I let her. 

I probably should have followed her and tried to talk to her again, but I stupidly, stayed in the lobby and now, here I am, alone in a Tatoonie dessert. After that day, I didn't even bother to keep track of her career or what it took her. I did, however, hear that she became engaged to another man and she did marry him. That part hurt the most because I know if I hadn't made the decision years earlier to leave her, I would have been that man that became her husband. 

But instead, I made the decision to leave her because I thought it was the right decision. It was a stupid one and I'll regret it for the rest of my life. 

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	2. Chapter 2

Meant to Be   
by obi's girl 

Part 2

Summary: Sabé's thoughts about Obi-Wan, the break-up, the marriage to her fiancé, the reunion and yet, second break-up. 

I cant believe youre saying this to me... Every memory we shared, the little moments we had together, doesn't matter to you, does it, Obi-Wan? I cried, tears clouding my brown eyes as he sullenly nodded yes. When he asked me to meet him in park not far from the Temple, I thought it meant he was going to propose to me and spend the rest of the day with me. Our affair, our love story had been kept a secret from the public as well as the Jedi Council but I think they knew at some point what was going on between us. They had to have known for him to make this decision to leave me. 

The only thing was, I thought I mattered more to him than the Order. He'd told me such on many occasions, if he were ever forced to choose, he'd choose me in a heart beat. Obviously, he'd lied to me all those times he held me in his arms. I was such a fool to believe everything he told me, I only believed him because I thought he meant them. 

Sabé, please understandI'm sorry but it has to be this way. The Code forbids such attachments as ours, he said, I know it's not what you want to hear but this has to end. 

I huffed, crossing my arms as I had my back turned to him. I didn't want to look at his face, it sickened me to look into his blue eyes and realize all that was he saying, his heart said to. I simply waved his hand and then darted from the park, anger and sadness swelling in my heart. I ran forever, sometimes, looking behind myself, hoping I would see his boots running after me but they were never there. 

I finally found myself at my apartment. I stood there, staring at all the miscellaneous objects that reminded me of my time with him. I scowled, marched to my dresser, brushing all the frames aside and tossing stuff around in general. As I sat there on the bed, I screamed, letting out all the pain and sorrow I'd been keeping in since I left the park. 

How could he leave me like this? How could he choose the Order over me and break my heart? So many angered questions flew through my head and none of the answers made sense. 

~~   
Years later, staring blankly out the window at the passing hover cars and at the restless life of Coruscant, my thoughts returned to that day in the park. Over the years, I tried to forget about that awful day but one way or another, when I wasn't thinking about my position as the Foreign Ambassador or the next legislation that needed to be passed in the Senate, I would stare out the window and think of him. 

He would be in his 14th year as a Jedi Master. His apprentice never even knew of our affair but she was sure, now that Anakin was older, he knew. It had become difficult, with her busy schedule, to even see him at the Temple. Funny, after all that had happened between them, he harsh words I said him that day, I always thought about seeing him. Maybe it was because I hoped if I did, he'd apologize for breaking my heart and tell me what he did was a mistake, and we'd be together again. 

It was a childish fantasy, I knew. But it hurt less to think about it because there would be happy ending. He was only a teen crush, the dimples in his cheek , the sparkle in his blue eyes and mischievous grinI was the lucky handmaiden. I never dreamed he'd feel something for me. I know the other handmaidens were so jealous of me when I told them about that special connection between us but I know, they were happy for me too. 

We were inseparable after that. He was a young Jedi Master, but me, I didn't have any pressing responsibilities so there was nothing to tie me down or stop me from seeing him. I loved him so much, I knew one day if it ever ended, it would hurt more than any other pain I'd felt in my life. 

But it did end, and I never looked back but yet, at night, I still dreamed about him. 

~~ 

Sabé Maberrie, he smiled, kneeling before me with a ring. Everyone else in the park, stared in awe at our public display of affection. I would be honored if you would be my wife, 

I smiled despite the pain I felt in my heart. I wished it was Obi-Wan kneeling before me, asking for hand but it wasn't him. Caleb was a good friend, we'd worked together often but love, it wasn't even there, not for me any way. I smiled politely, bowed my head slightly as I whispered to him, I'm sorry Caleb, but no. I can't marry you, 

I turned, looked at all the onlookers, many of them friends of mine and friends of his. I smiled at them too and then quietly left the park. My first marriage proposal and I said no. You'd think I'd jump at the chance to be a wife and mother, I'd always dreamed about it, but this wasn't right. If I did marry Caleb, it wouldn't be fair to him. I couldn't give myself to him completely. 

As a matter of fact, I knew I couldn't give myself to anyone else other than Obi-Wan. Still, we weren't together and lately, it seemed less and less likely, we'd ever be. But I was still naïve, still dreaming he'd change his mind and the next time I'd get a proposal he'd be the one that would propose to me. 

~~ 

"It doesn't change anything between us, Ben. I know now your life is with the Order and my life is politics. That's just the way it is and it'll never change, and I doubt I'd fit into your life. I don't even know if I could," I rambled and paused, "I just wanted to say that before I forgot to," 

I watched as his face fell sourly and the light in his eyes became a dimmer. I knew he wanted us to be together; I wanted it too but I didn't want my heart broken again. It was better this way, I convinced myself. 

"I did come here hoping enough time had passed, we could start over or pick off where we left off," 

"I've had those same dreams too Ben, but we can't ever go back to the way things used to be," I said, "I'm sorry for wasting your time Ben, but I have an appointment that I need to attend," He frowned as I stood up and smiled at him, "But it was good to see you, though. I'd been meaning to make the trip myself to the Temple but with my schedule, it isn't easy." 

He smiled goodbye to me, drooping his shoulders slightly as he watched me leave the hotel and step into an taxi. No more fairytales, I lived in the real world and in the real world, it was foolish to dream about such things. Besides, I had my career, which was at its peak at the moment. I couldn't just give it all up, people would think I had gone crazy. 

~~ 

Still, months later, I went to Caleb's office with flowers and a ring. He was overjoyed of course that I'd reconsidered his proposal. I told him that I had doubts about us because I did don't love him in the beginning, I didn't share the same feeling he had for me. But I also told him, with time, I'd learn to love him. 

It was a very empty comment, because the fact is, I still loved Obi-Wan. Yet, I was still getting married to another man to fill the void in my heart. The choice might come back and haunt me years later but for now, I needed to feel loved; even if it wasn't by the man who I wanted to love me. 

The End

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